Wednesday, January 17, 2007

iTunes at Work

I'm not sure if you all share music on your network with your co-workers via iTunes, but at my company we do.

I share my own music that includes such TV show theme songs as "The Gummi Bears", "Golden Girls", and "A-Team". I also have "Mmmbop" by Hanson and a few hip hop remixes and mashups.

However, you can only listen to your own music so frequently. So, here are my top 5 iTunes co-workers (with network iTunes names in quotes).

5. "Support Piracy!"

Number 1 source for hip hop music and comedy. Has enough 2pac and 50 to make you feel like a real gangsta. Also has Chris Rock, Dennis Leary, Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor and George Carlin if you want to pretend to work and actually laugh out loud. Also has Ozzie Osbourne, Nirvana and The Doors to keep the content mixed up.

Overall, "Support Piracy!" is my iTunes choice when I need a throwback to high school and remember what it was like to drink 40s in the woods with three feet of snow on the ground. Not sure how they relate, but it just does.

4. "Charles' Music Empire"

Largest collection of music which is always a plus with this user. Also has the widest range of music genres as well which is also a huge plus with me. There is a huge jazz selection, Earth, Wind and Fire, and Chaka Khan thrown in for good measure.

This is recommended for when you have absolutely no idea what you want to listen to, but you do NOT want to listen to people arguing about "what direction is best" or "why is the air conditioner on when it's 10 degrees outside".

3. "Chit my pants"

I would go into an extensive list of what is on this list, but here are the only three you need to know: Al Green's Greatest Hits, Marvin Gaye's Greatest Hits and Jackson 5's Greatest Hits.

Honestly - do you need anything else? If you do, then you can you tell me how it feels to be part of the Taliban?

2. "Melbity"

2 reasons for why I love this music list - 1) Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits. Honestly, she has written at least 150 songs that I never knew she had a part in. 2) The best music that I've never heard of before. Also has classical music for when I'm debating to just totally go in different direction and move to the Bahamas and become a bartender and marry someone who doesn't speak the same language as me.

1. "Jeshee"

Pound for pound the greatest bang for your buck. I can listen to almost any song on the whole list. Such artists as Tenacious D, Ella Fitzgerald, Fleetwood Mac, Sinatra, 50, Gnarls Barkley, G n R, Cash, The Kinks, Kravitz, a few songs from Les Mis, Outkast, The Police, Stones, Simon and Garfunkel, Spin Doctors (listened to that today), and U2.

Honestly, if I want to go back to middle school - BAM, I'm there with Spin Doctors. If I want a song that makes me teary-eyed for my lost youth, 10,000 Maniacs, "These are the days". Smokin' Grooves Tour Summer of 97 - Fugees.

That is my list. I probably should be getting back to work now. I think I'm going to have to put on a little best of Marvin Gaye to get through this day.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

RIP OC

In lieu of the fact that the Fox Network has decided to cancel The OC because of low ratings, and since it was my favorite show and should have been everyone else’s, I will be doing a series of posts to honor the show.

My first post in this series, which will also be a therapeutic endeavor for me, will rank the actors/actresses that were on the show. Let’s proceed with the rankings; they will go from worst to first, rankings precede the explanation.

189,234,345: Kaitlin Cooper version 1.0 played by Shailene Woodley. Let’s make the main female lead’s sister a two-bit hack of an actress and give her character absolutely no discernable characteristics that would have anyone give two shits about her except to can her from the show as fast as possible, which happened.

54,678: Oliver Trask played by Taylor Handley. The first season of The OC was going smoothly, ratings were great, everyone loved the characters and all of a sudden everyone went from normal teenagers to crazy people. Let’s see, I’m Marissa Cooper, I can get anyone I want, and all of a sudden I want to hang out with a short, ugly, maladjusted rich kid? This kid couldn’t hold a candle to a pizza deliver boy, let alone Ryan or Luke.

23,787: Volcheck played by Cam Gigandet. The character of Volcheck was likeable if you were into scumbag, tatted, and “rogue” wannabe thugs, which apparently Marissa Cooper was. Clearly her choice in men is not one for the record books. And yes I am writing this as though these characters are real life people.

18,756: DJ played by Nicholas Gonzalez. See a recurring theme here? At first I thought the character could work, but then I realized that the only funny part of this character was the jokes that Julie Cooper got to make such as “Let me guess – Tequila?”

9,078: Che played by Chris Pratt. Hippies don’t go well when the show is about spoiled, partying rich kids and their subsequent social interactions, period. Get out of here hippie.

5,067: Trey Atwood played by Logan Marshall-somethingorother hyphenated name. Not that the character of Ryan was all that good, but I guess they needed his brother to be even worse. He got shot, was in a coma, couldn’t get his life on track – a whole bunch of BS to fill a crappy season. Honestly, they should have introduced him once on the show and then gave him his own show on the CW network.

3,987: Theresa played by Navi Rawat. Did she or did she not have Ryan’s baby? Was that the real question or was it more like “Would they really ruin the show by having Ryan impregnate some girl that he dated in high school and was probably the first person he got to third base with?” Just my opinion.

2,756: Johnny Harper played by Ryan Donowho. Marissa Cooper’s connection with horrible characters continues with Surfer Johnny. Let’s review: He was going to be a professional surfer (and no one cared). He had a HUGE crush on Marissa (and no one cared). He got hit by a car (and I finally cared – I cheered). He fell off a cliff and died (Perfect).

17: Jimmy Cooper played by Tate Donovan. Huge potential in the beginning of the show being a troubled, but likeable guy. And then all of a sudden he disappears? Then he comes back and gets the crap kicked out of him? What the hell? They literally had something going and just tossed it to the curb and for what – to give more air time to one of Marissa’s hack love interests?

16. Lindsay Gardner played by Shannon Lucio. Had an ok part in the show, really didn’t bring anything all that great to the table. The storyline with her being Caleb’s out-of-wedlock child was a bit far-fetched, but not too bad. Honestly, I can’t put her any higher because she was in the made-for-TV movie “Spring Break Shark Attack”.

15. Ryan Atwood played by Benjamin McKenzie. This one pains me because he’s such a big part of the show. AND, at the beginning of the show he was perfect – beating the crap out of people, hitting on Marissa, feuding with Luke, having Summer interested in him (it was true, in the first show), boozing, etc. However, his attachment to Marissa killed any good that his character was which is disappointing. The show just should have taken my idea of bringing in Luke Perry AS Dylan McKay and having him be Ryan’s long lost uncle would have been perfect. I digress, what could have been.

14. Marissa Cooper played by Mischa Barton. I honestly wanted to put her behind her sister version 1.0, but I guess she can go here. She was great at the beginning of the show and turned into a nutjob that liked crazy guys and her character became so erratic that every other female character seemed to be 10 times more interesting. I honestly would write more about her, but I wish they had either 1) kept her character with the attitude she had at the beginning of the show or 2) killed her off halfway through the first season.

13. Haley Nichol played by Amanda Righetti. She was introduced, threw a party, hooked up with Jimmy and then got her own show. Done and done.

12. Alex Kelly played by Olivia Wilde. It is really too bad that they had to have Marissa have a lesbian relationship with her when it clearly was for sweeps when this character had a lot going on. If you are going to have a lesbian relationship, at least have it with another female character that isn’t a complete psycho, such as…

11. Anna Stern played by Samaire Armstrong. Great character, was from Pittsburgh, throws a monkey wrench into The OC, gets Seth to love her, feuds with Summer, and all in all does what she is supposed to do. Here is the problem: Why the hell did she leave the show? She was killing Marissa when it came to being important on the show, which is why I think she may have been shown the exit. And, randomly having her at Brown was something that I thought they would explore, but I guess not. Hopefully she will be at the reunion show.

10. Dean of Discipline played by Eric Mabius. Any character that refers to himself as “The Dean of Discipline” deserves a top 10 ranking.

9. Luke Ward played by Chris Carmack. Another incredible character. I’m going to pretend that when they turned him soft and made him go crazy after finding out his dad was gay just never really happened. He was the best villain, think about it. Water Polo? Check. A&F look? Check. Drove big truck? Check. AND, he uttered this line “Welcome to The OC, BITCH!”

8. Sandy Cohen played by Peter Gallagher. Great TV dad. Loved the cared-a-little-too-much about the malcontents aura he had. Did what he had to do. He is the equivalent of the glue guy on a sports team – won’t be in the hall of fame, but you need him for a championship.

7. Kirsten Cohen played by Kelly Rowan. Great TV mom. Loved that she didn’t like Ryan at first. Loved how she finally came around. They literally killed the character with the whole AA thing. Honestly, they should have kept her as a “play hard, work hard” type of mom – hosting functions and kicking ass.

6. Kaitlin Cooper version 2.0 played by Willa Holland. Great pickup for The OC and it is too bad she wasn’t there from day 1 because I think the show would have had a whole other ballgame going on. Her being the min-Julie was fantastic and just what the show was missing. The fact that they actually paraded around an actual 15 year old, instead of hiring a 20 year old to play her like normal, was kind of disturbing.

5. Summer Roberts played by Rachel Bilson. Absolutely, unequivocally the female star from day one when she 1) wanted Ryan and 2) was a huge bitch. She totally stole Marissa’s thunder and probably was drawn into the relationship with Seth a bit quick. Also, I never understood why they never had an instance where she reverted back to her initial feelings for Ryan. Could have been huge. Plus, the whole hippie thing at Brown was a waste.

4. Seth Cohen played by Adam Brody. Great character since they kept him geeky the whole time. Loved the interaction between him and Ryan at the beginning of the show. Hilarious that he named his boat after Summer and she thought he was a huge loser. Pretty much a solid character for the whole show, told the jokes, and eventually even somehow got Anna and Summer to like him at the same time without it feeling too forced. I’m guessing he will be the most successful post OC out of the main characters.

3. Julie Cooper played by Melinda Clarke. I already stated the Tequila joke. Her character was the essence of the show. They needed her to be the bitch and always conniving and looking out for herself. She cheated, lied, betrayed and people still loved her. Wasn’t a huge fan of her seducing Luke, thought that was a bit much, but all in all she was awesome.

2. Caleb Nichol played by Alan Dale. This is what I thought when they killed off his character, “I hope they have him faking his own death because they need him to keep this show going”. His snide remarks, Machiavellian tactics, and sordid history made him the catalyst to the show’s story lines.

Who, you say, could be number 1? Could it be Ryan’s Mom? Sandy’s crazy ex-gf that was a runaway? The woman who was Caleb’s long lost extramarital affair? Of course not….It is….

1.Taylor Townsend played by Autum Reeser. Great look, great character, perfect development and absolutely needed to be in the show from day 1. Do you need more proof that Marissa should never have been #1 besides the failing storylines, being outperformed by Summer, Anna, and essentially anyone else that was on the screen with her? Taylor Townsend is the proof. She hooked up with The Dean of Discipline, tried to create a mutiny against Marissa at Harbor High, and then tried to steal Seth from Summer. AND, when everything is said and done, she finally gets her claws into Ryan. She pulled off the terms “Emotional Terrorism” and “Sexual Jedi” without batting an eye.

So there you have it – 1,773 words devoted to The OC. More will surely follow since I still need to grieve.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

RIP FHM

FHM, the once spirited periodical for those who fall into the highly coveted "have penis, will fuck; loves beer, No Fear!" demographic, will cease to exist by the end of Q1 next year.

In it's glory, one could pick up an FHM from any street vendor and check out the beautiful, scantily-clad women that adorned its pages. While, let it be known, teaching you how to take a shot of vodka through orifices that you didn't even know you had.

I, for one, shall miss seeing the FHM magazines strewn about our fraternity floor; usually having been pissed or vomited on by some coed, in his or her moment of glory.

They were also good for such things as:

- Feeding to Charlie the Dog
- Hitting Nikita the Dog
- Pelting a drunk Richter from afar

I guess I'll just have to settle for the sophomoric and elementary Maxim and/or Stuff. I mean, I need to get my injection of Dude Juice somehow.

Once again, RIP FHM, you will be forever missed.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Scotty Blue's take on Melrose Place versus The OC

My good friend Scotty Blue did a take on Melrose Place versus The OC in response to my 90210 versus The OC blog. Here is his take:

I know a while back you did a 90210 vs. The OC comparison on the blog. I'm curious why you left out Melrose Place. While all three shows are classics, I must say Melrose stacks up better than the Hills in my opinion for a few reasosns.

First, since all of the characters were out of college and in their mid-20s or older when the show began, they could have crazier plot lines, with no parents or school administrators to deal with.

Second, Heather Locklear carries the 'Alpha Female' role much better than either Jennie Garth or Mischa Barton, despite the fact that Barton is really hot. She has an excruciatingly annoying voice and I hate her character. I can never understand why Marissa can't find a way to be happy. It's not like she has a bad life.

Third, although The OC clearly has the best theme song, I think Melrose's music was way better than 90210.

Fourth, while both Melrose and The Hills stayed on the air too long, Melrose was only on for one season longer than it should have been. 90210 should have ended with Brandon and Kelly's marriage/the gang's graduation from college, yet stayed on for an additional three seasons.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

I am now officially obsessed with MySpace

One day, my friend Adrianne IMs me and says that I need to be her MySpace buddy. Now, I'm on Friendster and Facebook already, so I didn't really think that I needed to have one more web community commitment. However, I had apparently set up an account a long time ago and never did anything with it.

So, I dabbled in myspace a bit, put up a pic, did some bare bones profile info. I invited a few people, invited a few more, and even a few more.

Now, I am officially addicted to myspace. Seriously, I can't get enough of it. I was wary of it at first however. It seems like creepy people have a lot avenues to get your info, try to meet you, etc. I'm worried enough and I'm a dude. Not many girls are that creepy. Crazy? Sure. But not creepy. I can't imagine being a girl and getting a message from "FChix69" or "dReAmBoaT Dave" being like, "Hey, loved the pic, you have any ones of you naked?". Seriously, it is real creepy.

Yet, the positives far outweigh negatives:

1 .You can do so much more with the "space" that the site gives you. NOW, this shouldn't mean you change the default template just to have something "different". I don't need to see a background with flashing colors that are in no way complimentary to each other. If you have a site skin like this, you really need to put up a warning so that people with epilepsy don't go into seizure.

2. I like being able to touch base with people that I was friends with from high school. Outside of this web community, I would rarely, if ever, be able to keep up to date with what is going on in their lives. Plus, anytime you can group together a bunch of Johnson City people, it is NEVER a bad thing. Good times.

3. It gives me a forum to be obnoxious and self-aggrandizing.

So, if you want to see my MySpace page, the link is: http://www.myspace.com/coolkidone

Don't be bashful, hit me up on MySpace.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Keira...Reese...Heaven is a real place!

Seriously...I know I never put Reese in my top 5, but that is because she is the only woman in my Hall of Fame. And, Keira is presently setting the consecutive weeks record as #1.

So, with that said, as I have been doubting the existence of God as of late because of Syracuse's wayward basketball performance...he hath come back with a vengeance to put Reese andKeira in the same Oscar category. Now, if Reese wins, God gets an A++ in my book from me.

So, with that said. My revised top 5:

5. Natalie Portman
4. Jen Aniston
3. Rachel McAdams
2. Autumn Reeser
1. Keira Knightley

HoF: Reese Witherspoon

Tired of deciding who has to take responsibility for your ridiculous friends' antics? Try the friend draft!

So a few weeks ago, Nate, Doug, and I were sitting at a bar in NYC and decided to play a game that Nate thought up - The Friend Draft.

We put 90 names on a list and did a snake draft (Nate went first, Doug went second, I went third, I went fourth, Doug went fifth, and Nate went sixth, etc). Now, the catch was that whoever you draft, you are then responsible for them -- good or bad.

For example if you drafted Friend A and said person gets drunk, tries to cyber with random girls via IM, and gets caught doing this all the time, then you have to still admit that is your friend. Now, if a friend invents the cure for cancer, you get to reap all the benefits.

One more item to note, it was assumed that each of us were already on our own teams.

So, I am not going to post the final lists...yet. But just some overall comments:

Nate's team can best be described as high risk, high reward. Nate, as always, is not one to stand on the sidelines. He chose our friend Tyler #1 overall; this is the same Tyler who recently broke both wrists scaling a fence outside a bar dressed as The Flash for Halloween.

Doug's team is solid. One of the biggest questions is if Ethan can hold up the burden by being a high draft pick. This is the same Ethan who once was beaten up by a girl, in Walnut Park.

My team is off the charts. Obviously I am biased, but two groups really make up my team: People from upstate NY and people were on Day 6 my frosh year. Honestly, you can't really go wrong with either.

Eventually, I will release more and more info from the draft...Let's just say there have been some heated arguments stemming from this draft. Kudos to Nate for another great idea.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Here we go again...Revised Top 5.

5. Autumn Reeser - New girl on The OC makes a blazing jump into the Top 5.

4. Maria Sharapova - I was rooting for her at the US Open and I think I may have fallen in love with her.

3. Mischa Barton - New Mischa looks ridicidoo. Bruce has been on this bandwagon from day one.

2. Jennifer Aniston - The person I sit next to at work has the Vanity Fair she was in.

1. Keira Knightley - Ms. Knightley's reign as #1 on my top 5 is one of the greatest reigns of my #1s of all time.

Monday, September 19, 2005

My Ebert and Roeper of The OC Season 3 so far...

Ok, here are some thumbs up and down for The OC so far this season after two episodes...

Thumbs up: Marissa's look this year. I don't know, something about her. She looks like she isn't fasting any more. The new Marissa looks a lot better.

Thumbs down: No Caleb. I already miss the big guy.

Thumbs up: Evil Julie Cooper is much better than moderately bad Julie Cooper. Evil Julie Cooper is the best.

Thumbs down: Recycling an old story with Jimmy Cooper. How many times can Jimmy Cooper be in financial trouble? Come on, I like the character, but let's develop him a little bit.

Thumbs up: Ryan punching people.

Thumbs down:Ryan not punching enough people.

Thumbs up: Goodguy Sandy Cohen sticking up for Ryan and the family and taking it to Jimmy Cooper.

Thumbs down: Kirsten Cohen's never-ending saga in rehab for a made up alcohol problem.

Thumbs up: Taylor Townsend trying to steal all of Marissa's thunder. She is straight out of Mean Girls. I am a huge fan of one Ms. Autumn Reeser (her real name).

Thumbs down: Trey's exit to.........Vegas???? Um...are they trying to do a spinoff?

Thumbs up: The Dean of Discipline aka the in-the-closet gay athlete guy from Cruel Intentions.

Thumbs down: The weird new font for the opening credits. I know this is picky, but it bothers me.


That's all I got for right now. I'm liking the start of this season though.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

What I think about...

Things I've been thinking about...

- Demi Moore at one time in the past was listed on imdb.com as a guest star on "The OC" which would be fantastic. I believe she would be either Summer's step-mom or real mom. Either way, taht would be unbelievable.

- If you are going to shoot Suge Knight, shouldn't you better be damn sure you kill him? Seriously, what do you think that guy is doing now? My guess is that he is either hiding in a bunker that he built that is hundreds of feet below ground or he has changed his name and moved to a very very foreign country. Either way, I'm guessing he's never going to get a good night's sleep for the rest of his life.

- I have quite the affinity for Chicken Lo Mein these past few weeks. I don't know why.

- Football season has started which means that if I have made any plans with you they are not definite and are always up for change based on the way Syracuse and the Giants are doing. This is non-negotiable. If they both lose in one weekend, all bets are off to my psychological well being.

- I am not looking forward to taking the air conditioner out of my window. I know it won't take that long and it's not that big of a deal, but I really hate doing it. Anyone else?

- After being in the workforce for a little while now I can wholeheartedly say that I cannot believe that anyone in college bitches at all. Seriously, none of you have problems. None of you have real issues. Oh, you disagree? Oh I'm sorry, maybe we can discuss your feelings when you aren't pounding beers, playing strip poker, and hooking up with "that girl I met at the bar".

- If I'm not in a shuffleboard league by next summer, I'm going to be pissed. And real shuffleboard, not the bar shuffleboard. I'm talking retirement community/cruise ship shuffleboard.

Alright, just had to get that off my mind.

Weird things happen in elevators

In my opinion, elevators are the closest thing to a real life psychological evaluation most people are ever going to get.

For example...

I got in the elevator to go up to the 11th floor of my building where I work. So, it's kind of crowded and I am in the back corner. Upon cramming in, this middle-aged woman is crammed in right next to me. So, unfortunately, almost every floor is lit up so I know it's going to be a long ride up to my floor. However, as fewer and fewer people are left on the elevator I notice that the lady next to me is not moving away from me. Now, I'm stuck in a corner and I can't really move too much. So, at about the 8th floor, literally there is ONLY ME AND THIS WOMAN in the elevator. And you know what -- she still hasn't moved. She is still right next to me. She hasn't moved at all. She is practically leaning on me. I really think if I had darted away she would have fallen over.

How creepy is this? Serisouly? It was early, so I wasn't totally with it. But good lord, this was absurd. How do you talk to someone in this position? "Excuse me ma'am, I know you have a crippling fear of elevators or have a very serious injury that has impaired your lateral movement, but if you wouldn't wind, could you please back the fuck up?"

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Subway PDA -- Oh Hell No!

Ok, I want to give you a reason why I haven't written in a while and here it is: I've been lazy and haven't kept the blog a priority.

So, I actually have a few almost written posts, so I should be able to get some up pretty soon.

Anyway, to my original point...If you are in a major metropolitan area where there is a subway system and it is usually pretty crowded, you know what it can be like. There is ample opportunity to people watch, read the advertisements, read a book, listen to music, and my favorite, judge people without knowing them at all...Ok, I made that last part up, well, not really.

Anyway, I was on the subway the other weekend, going into Manhattan, and I am perusing the clientle of the subway car I am in and something catches my eye. This something is a creepy hand placement between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Picture this, girl and guy are sitting next to each other, no big whoop. However, the guy puts his hand above knee height on the inside of the girls thigh and this was not to hold her hand. Seriously, I know this isn't an X-rated hand positioning, but it sure as heck seemed like it could be going there.

So I'm kinda creeped out at this point, but not totally, so I go back to reading the ads that are on the upper part of the subway. And, like a car accident, I can't take my eyes off this couple because the guy starts caressing the inside of his girlfriends thigh! Now, let me explain the situation a little more. One, if you think I am creepy for doing this, please try to not watch something as horrifying as this, you know you would too. Two, there were kids on the subway car. Three, this was during the day, it's not like they were drunk and coming home from a night out and were a wee bit frisky and were having trouble making it home. No no no, this was ridic subway snuggling. I can't even call it snuggling, this was unadulterated subway petting.

Now, here is where it gets even better. I realize I am not the only person that is appalled at what is transpiring. There are people doing the "I'm not going to look, ok, I'm going to look, oh god why did I look!" all over the place at this couple. The people sitting next to them look as if they somehow accidently were cast in a porno movie.

Now, at least 75% of the train is noticing this horrid display of affection and trying to block it out. I am not what you would call a religious man, but I was praying that what I was witnessing would go no further than it already had.

Well, I was wrong, but it could have been a lot worse. The guy starts BITING the girl's shoulder. And she is digging it. Hey, whatever gets your mojo going, good for you. Hey, if you are into exhibitionism, I mean, whatever. But this was getting out of hand. I was having serious issues trying to figure out how I would cleanse myself of this image once the couple bit the bullet and started going from heavy petting and uncomfortable touching to the next level.

However, by an act of God, the couple had to get off the subway. I, as were many of the other passengers, relieved beyond belief.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Revised Top 5 Women of Hollywood

5. Olivia Wilde
4. Rachel McAdams
3. Rachel Bilson
2. Natalie Portman
1. Keira Knightley

Just had to update it.

How Jen Aniston can One Up Brad Pitt

I've thought about this a lot. I have been a big Brad Pitt fan for a while, however, I will not forgive him for making the jump to Jolie in the manner he did. Anywho, there is one HUGE way that Aniston can get back at him and just totally win the whole war that is currently going on...

She goes to the next big award show with 50 Cent.

Yup, I said it. Think about it, she doesn't need to be "dating" him or in a relationship with him, if she just shows up with him at a highly-covered event, the tabloids would go absolutely bonkers. Think about it. The MTV VMAs are in late summer, 50 is nominated for a crapload of awards, his Bently stretch limo shows up at the VMAs, one of the later arrivals, and 50 gets out followed by Jennifer Aniston.

Could you possibly imagine the shock and awe that would rock the whole world if this happened? It is almost better that they keep the reason that they are attending together hush-hush. Let everyone speculate. Who cares.

Jen Aniston's street cred immediately goes through the roof. 50 is 50 and anything he does turns to platinum. They don't make out, but she hangs tightly to his arm.

Can you imagine this? How HUGE would it be? In my opinion, this absolutely needs to happen.

The one thing worse than missing a Booty Call

Is there anything worse than missing a Booty Call? One of the worst feelings is missing a booty call, especially one that you had been expecting/hoping for. However, you know what is worse than just missing a Booty Call??? Calling back and not getting an answer.

Think about it, you are at a bar, it's loud, you don't always hear your phone ring or feel it vibrate. You miss the call, but you see that the Booty Caller didn't call that long ago. Now, you call back and the original booty caller does not pickup! What is your next move? Do you leave a voicemail? Do you follow with a text? Do you do both? Do you do neither?

Here is my resolution:

If the person that calls you leaves a message stating to call back - you absolutely have to call back and leave a message if they don't pick up. Also, in this scenario, it is ok to follow with a text. ANYTHING AFTER THAT IS TOO MUCH!

If the person calls you and does not leave a message you can call back but DO NOT leave a voicemail. However, because you did not leave a message, you can follow with a text. But keep it simple. Something like "Hey, I saw you called, sorry I missed it, give me a ring later if you want".

It must be noted, that if you get a Booty Text, you had best only text back. DO NOT CALL. If the level of Booty Correspondence is initiated at the text level, it must be followed with a text.

I understand that you are going to want to keep texting and calling, but you have to restrain yourself in these situations. Persistence is usually a good thing, but too much and you seem like a freak. Too little and you seem disinterested.

Either way, be careful with the Booty Correspondence, it's a delicate thing.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Quick Picks: Documentaries

FYI, I went to You Got Served in the theaters with my friend Tyler. Loved the movie. Anywho, if you like You Got Served, check out this trailer:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/rize/


It's a documentary about "Krumping".

Also, if you are looking for someting more controversial, check out this documentary site:

http://www.thegodmovie.com/

The trailer is at: HERE!

- M

That Guy: Drunk, non-sexual, overbearing, cover-band groupies

Ok, so there are about 100 different categories for "That Guy". This time, it is the "drunk, non-sexual, overbearing, cover-band groupies".

Seriously, last night I went to this bar that had a pretty good cover band because my friend knew someone in the band. Music was good, bar was ok, yada yada yada. Anyway, The lead singer plays the guitar and also the keyboard depending on the song. Well, for a few songs in a row, the lead singer was on the keyboard. Now, there was about an 8 inch gap between the edge of the keyboard/stage and the wall. So, as the band is playing this drunk dude wedges himself into this 8 inch gap, with brew in hand, and starts obnoxiously rocking out about 3 inches from the lead singer. Dude is wasted.

Now, I'm not saying I've never been a "that guy" before, but this was out of control. I cannot believe this didn't bother more people. So, for the first song, the band was really tolerant of this guy. Even though he was bumping the keyboard, almost grabbing the mic, and in general just being annoying, the band just joked around after the song and let him stay in the spot. So, they start another song, and the guy keeps being super annoying. At this point, I want to dropkick the dude in the teeth. He has shot to #1 on my "people I hate most list" right above Ashton Kutcher, Colin Farrell, and every member of Maroon 5.

So, they tolerate this guy AGAIN. I have to give the band credit, they could have got the guy booted out of the bar, but they just played it cool. So, I figure if they can deal with it, I guess I should be able to as well. So, the third song begins with the guy still there and guess what happens. The stupid drunk motherf'er that is wedged in the 8 inch gap F's up the keyboard so it does not work.

Now, the song that had been started was Elton John's "Tiny Dancer". Let me tell you something, that late at night and that drunk, EVERYONE loves "Tiny Dancer". I was pissed. But, again, the band played it cool.

I could not believe it. This drunk guy was ALL OVER the lead singer trying to steal his mojo and making a fool out of himself. What did he think he was going to achieve by doing what he was doing? Did he think that they would ask him to come up on stage, he would rock out to some John Mayer song and all the girls would throw their "delicates" up on stage in an effort to bed him?

I know I've done stupid things and I've been "That Guy", but this guy was soooooo ridic I could not believe it.

So frustrating. Afterwards I went to an Irish Pub where they played G-Unit. Good times.

Spanish 101 - True Story

Alright, everytime I go out partying I tell the same stories over and over again, so I am going to keep these stories alive via this blog. Anyway, this is my story of Spanish class freshman year of college.

This is the setup: Syracuse sends you a pre-teset before you actually are enrolled in Spanish before your frosh year to see your level of comprehension and ability. So, even though I took 4 years of Spanish in high school, I skipped out on this test and signed up for Spanish 101. I roll into Spanish 101 where, on the first day, they give you another comprehension test. And, you are supposed to list your Spanish experience as well. I figure I'm safe in Spanish 101, so I ace the test and list that I took four years of Spanish in high school. So the professor, AS SOON AS I HAND IN MY TEST, she reviews it and says I should be in Spanish 3 and at the very least Spanish 2, but I could not stay in the class that I was in now.

So what happens next? I go to the Spanish office and they state to me: "Oh, it's your lucky day, we have an open Spanish 2 class that you can enroll in - 8am, Mon-Thur". So, I realize 8am is early, but I used to be up way earlier for high school, so I figure what the hell, I might as well try it.

Bottom Line: BAD IDEA. And by bad idea, I mean maybe the worst idea since Members Only jackets.

So the first day I am supposed to go two things occur:
1. I break my alarm clock trying to hit the snooze button
2. I realize that a normal person should not be up this early during his or her tenure in college

Thankfully, I found a solution to my issue, and this is what it was:
My friend Lian would wake me up around 7:40, I would then roll out of bed, fully clothed with backpack already packed and on my back, brush my teeth, and walk with Lian to class. Now, that is only the first part of solving the problem.

The next part was dealing with my inability to function at that time of the day. So what I did was I promised the professor, who by the way was very nice, that I would never miss a class all semester. Remember this class is at 8am, Monday through Thursday all semester. That is like 60 classes total or something crazy. So, in return for me never missing a class, and assuming my grades were good, the professor would only call on me when it was an absolute must.

It was a perfect marriage. I would come down from The Mount, on time, and I never missed a class. I would sit in the corner and not take off my backpack and nod in and out of consciousness. This continued for the whole semester and I got an A and, no, I am not making this up.

Good times.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Graduation should equate to Mardi Gras

This past weekend I went up to Syracuse University's (my alma mater) graduation because I had some friends graduating. I had a good time, saw my friends end their collegiate career, experienced the ceremonies, and partied at night. Good times had by all I would say. However, after graduating twice ('02 undergrad, '04 grad) and attending a few others as a spectator, I have realized that graduation is really underwhelming.

Graduation should be a week of ballyhoo, celebration, and incredible festivities. I mean, think about it, you aren't really just ending your collegiate career, which in and of itself is more than enough reason to celebrate for a week, you are really ending the only chapter you have ever known in your life.

I've always felt that the way most kids grow up these days is with graduating college as the ultimate goal. I mean, when you are growing up, you say that you think you want to be a doctor, or an architect, or whatever, but what you are really gearing up for is college. And after college it is a brand new scary world.

Anyway, enough about the sentimental stuff, back to the week of fun. This is the way it should be set up in my opinion (I will use this year's dates for my example):

Monday, Apr 25th: Last day of classes. If your class does not have a final and needs a paper or project, it must be due by this date

Tuesday, Apr 26th - Sun, May 1st: all finals must be completed.

Monday May 2nd: Bar B Que on the quad. Set up a stage, get a big name, let the fun begin. Seriously, could you imagine if G-Unit was performing on the quad with human bowling going on too?

Tuesday May 3rd: Mardi Gras on campus. Why not?

Wednesday May 4th: Freshman year challenge. Day 6 versus Brew 3 in tug o' war. L-Town 17 versus Sadler 5 in a relay race. Flint 1c versus Bo 7 in bobbing for apples. Sounds like good times to me.

Thursday May 5th: Cinco de Mayo. Turn Marshall Street into a cerveza y tequila fiesta. Por que no?

Friday May 6th: Mimosas in the AM at Schine student center. Have to get ready for the 'rents coming at night.

Then the weekend could start. Wouldn't that be better than the way it is set up now? What underclassmen would leave? It would be like spring break. Can you imagine the zaniness that would occur?

Good times. A man can dream.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sweet Loft Relaunch...

I'm going to apologize AGAIN for not posting frequently enough, but my new job has been keeping me pretty busy.

What I'm going to do is to try to write one post per Mon-Fri and then one on the weekend. Also, I'm not going to link to the blog in my IM anymore because my IM has too many professional associates that can view my profile. Not that I don't want my professional cohorts to view this, but there are clients that I have interacted with that know my IM name that probably are not interested in my take on hooking up, boozing in college, or my opinion of made-for-tv movies.

Anyway, I'm going to begin a mailing list...so, if you want to be on the mailing list, send me an email at Michael.Moscardini@gmail.com and I will add you to it. I will send you an email when I write a new post and it also will help me keep everyone's email in order. Hopefully at some point we can have a SweetLoft Party. Maybe a SweetLoft Foam Party or something. Who knows.

Also, I am seeking guest writers as well. With scaling back my number of posts, I would like to feature a new writer each week.

Anyway, send me your emails.

Michael.Moscardini@gmail.com

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

What is the deal with pageants...If I had one, it would be a bit different.

I started thinking about this the other day...does anyone really care about it anymore. Or the Ms. USA one. Maybe people care about Ms. Universe because Ms. Brazil is still in the competition, but back to the point.

Does the Ms. America pageant really measure anything of worth? I don't even know what the hell they do for it anymore. All I know is at one point they had swimsuits, evening wear, and a question and answer. And I'm not even too sure of that.

Now, you can probably tell that I am not entertained by this pageant. If I had a pageant, I would make it open to guys and girls a la Saved by the Bell with Screech and JRT on Behind the Music. It wouldn't even be a pageant, it would be more of a Cool Kid Coronation/Sweetloft Sponsor rather than anything else. Shit, you could be married, famous, blind, or a siamese twin. EVERYONE would be allowed to try.

These would be my parts...

Part 1: Karaoke...DRUNK. Yup, here it goes. You have to blow a BAC of .1 or higher. Now, the higher your BAC is, the higher degree of difficulty goes with your performance. Also, the song choice will be included in the scoring. So, if you blow a .1 and choose a spoken word poem, you probably will not do too well. However, if you blow an astounding .25 and sing Bridge Over Troubled Water, you will probably score pretty high.

Part 2: A one minute response to the question of "What was the most difficult part of your college life?". If your answer includes anything with "relationship", "tests", and/or "so much drama" you automatically get disqualified. If your answer includes "running out of gatorades to steal from Gleason's fridge" or "Getting cut off at Maggie's before happy hour ended" then you have a good chance at winning.

Part 3: A round of 'Never Have I Ever' with a polygraph machine. You can plead the fifth, but you get docked points. If you lie, you get docked points. If you tell the truth and it's really boring, you get docked points. Seriously, if the question is "Have I ever received or gave a hickey after college?" and your answer is "yes", you will not get points.

Part 4: Harlem Shake Contest. I don't care if you can't do it -- you better try. Why is this in here you may ask, because the harlem shake is entertaining to me. That's it. I know it's not on the front burner of popularity anymore, but again, it's my show.

Part 5: The 'Thrift Store Contest'. Every contestant has $10 to purchase a WHOLE outfit, head to toe, from The Salvation Army. Yeah, that's right, let's see how creative you can get. You can get a t-shirt, flip flops, and some jeans or you can get a whole suit. I don't care -- you have to make it work though.

Out of these five parts, two finalists would emerge and have to take on the final obstacle course. It would be part American Gladiator, part Final Jeopardy, and part Star Search.

The winner would be given a cheesesteak from Jim's in Philly, a HUGE crown, a Mad Dog 20/20 Green aka Mysterious Green, and an iPod with my own personal music list on it.

If you have any ideas for this pageant, please add them in the comments.

Adios.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

If you want to know how to throw a bday party, the book has just been written by Udo

Haven't posted in a while, so let me apologize for that. Now for bigger things...

Udo's birthday was the most ridiculously fun time I have had in a long while. And, let me say that I have had some off the chart ridicidoo moments and this one still topped them all.

So, this is how the party was prefaced...Nate and Sheldon were already in the QB getting amped for a night full of opportunities when none other than Gleason rolls in out of nowhere. Now let me say this, nights that the regular cuse bunch goes out, it's always a good time, adding Gleason and Nate to the mix is like going from a cranberry and vodka to a red bull and vodka, laced with speed, with Ante Up playing on repeat.

So we start a wee bit of boozin with some beers and JD. We then hop the train and head to Suede which is a sweet club owned by Timbaland. We get there and there is no one in the place, but we head right on down to the private room downstairs. Let me say this, when you walk in to a room filled with bottles of booze, mixers, fruit, and ice with COMFY couches...Oh man, the night is going to be a good one.

After a few minutes of introductions and some sitting, I barter for the bottle of tequila at the table over. Now it is go time. Shot glasses, limes, and a whole lot of potential are about to be unveiled. So, I scream at Udo to do some shots, so we start lining them up, shots go down, people get drunk. What occurs over the next few hours I can only describe as sheer joy and happiness at its purest form. There was dancing, carousing, laughing, making out, and just normal ballyhoo.

HOWEVER, this was going on right beneath a star-studded lineup upstairs. I will now list the alleged celebs that were there:

Will Valderama (verified)
Lindsey Lohan (verified)
Lindsey Grubma (verified)
JC Chasez (verified)
Joey Fatone (verified)
Fifty (NOT verified)
Richard Jefferson (verified)
Taye Diggs (verified)
Mark Wahlberg (verified)

There might have been more and I am just forgetting. However, Udo made fun of Will Valderamma stating this "Hey guys look -- It's Wilmer Valderama, the guy from 7th Heaven...hahahaha". Yup, that's right, Udo said he was from 7th Heaven.

AND, get this, Lohan and Grubman have to be separated because of something Grubman said about her.

Granted, it's not a real NYC party unless Jeter is there (as per Tommy), but it was still funny that there were celebs right above us and Udo's party was STILL better than the upstairs.

Towards the end of the night, there were girls dancing on tables, lapdances being given out, some serious making out, and a lot of good stories.

All in all, I would like to thank Udo and Husserl for throwing the creme de la creme of birthday parties.

You know it's a good party when the most common occurrence when everyone sees each other from the night before is a coy smile, a chuckle, and an utterance of "Now THAT is a party".

Monday, March 21, 2005

Spring Break Shark Attack!

Alright, alright, alright...

Here we go...Long time no tending to, but I am back.

Last night there was a movie so hyped that I could barely contain myself by the time it came on. Spring Break Shark Attack had been promoted so heavily during the NCAA tourney that I had forgot that basketball was actually being played. This is how my mindset changed:

Thursday: Man, that movie looks so dumb. I can't believe that Shannon Lucio went from The OC to this.

Friday: Man, these advertisements are getting so annoying. I hope Shannon Lucio gets eaten.

Saturday: Seriously, can they promote this shit any more? Hey, did you guys see how many sharks there were in the water?

Sunday: This movie looks so stupid...you guys want to watch it?

Alright, so I got suckered in by the advertisements. I like bad movies, I like spring break, I like the dude from Cocktail...I mean, why not. Deadwood is always on On Demand.

So I tune in about half an hour into the movie, and I use the term movie very loosely, and it is action packed immediately. Attractive women, booze, beaches, sun, and music. Sounds like a good time. I am getting giddy at the fact that about half the cast, including 99% of the extras, are about to get eaten. Very exciting.

So what happens next...The movie goes from HUGE bad movie potential to straight up creepy. Shannon Lucio is the star and she has this uber-geeky brother who looks like he should be related to the unibomber. She has apparently lied to her parents about where she is for spring break, big whoop. And, finally, there is the good guy versus bad guy. Good guy was in New York Minute and the bad guy was in, who knows, maybe an after school special.

So what happens next you may be wondering? Bad guy DRUGS Shannon Lucio. Seriously, WICKED creepy. Then, inexplicably, the good guy finds her, puts her to bed, and the bad guy comes BACK and starts making out with her while she is passed out.

Remember -- The name of this movie is spring break SHARK ATTACK. At this point, I'm wondering where the sharks are and if there has ever been a more misleading title than SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK.

Anyway, the good guy walks in and the bad guy pulls away from groping Shannon Lucio just in time so that the good guy doesn't realize hes straight trying to scumbag it up. Let me go back to something quick here...The info for this show is "Sharks terrorize college students". Again, no sharks yet and the movie is starting to get into 8mm type creepiness.

I was on IM with my friend Devin during this movie. I convinced him to watch it. These were some of his comments regarding the advertisements for this movie:

"TRICKING people into watching a date rape movie"
"if I wanted to watcha date rape movie, I'd watch the one with Savage and Candice Cameron"
"
fred savage, that is"

Seriously, the movie was just getting flat out creepy. I cannot stress this enough.

This is what Scott Lewis said about the movie 5 minutes after we started:

"
This movie is not about sharks...I cannot believe this!"

Ok, so now we get into hour 2...guess what. SHARKS BABY! So here we go, I am all amped up for this. This is what I was waiting for. Virgins will be saved and all other heathens shall find death within the clenches of shark jaws.

Quick interlude: Is a cheesecake really a cake? Some of us say pie, some say pastry, all of us agree -- great treat.

Devin and I just had this exchange regarding the cheesecake:
Devin: here's pie:
Devin: A baked food composed of a pastry shell filled with fruit, meat, cheese, or other ingredients, and usually covered with a pastry crust. A layer cake having cream, custard, or jelly filling.
Devin: so a pie IS a cake
Cuse4527: oh yeah
Cuse4527: like a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isnt a square
Devin: right
Devin: it's def not a cake
Cuse4527: not at all

OK, back to the movie...
One quick note back to the roofied Lucio, when she was doped up she called her dad and told him she snuck off to spring break. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.

Sharks are attacking the boat everyone is on. Goodguy saves Lucio with some deep knowledge of Tiger Sharks or some shit. Who knows. Somehow they get back to land.

This exchange just took place:

Lewis: I know like 4 people that have been bitten by a shark
Devin (via IM): That's a lie
Lewis: It happens all the time

That leads to this exchange between Lewis and Ardo:

Lewis:
Ive gone swimming in lakes with alligators all the time
Ardo:
I dont believe you
Lewis:
kids are alway swimming in lakes
Ardo:
they're stupid

Ok, so to recap...If you live in Florida, you will probably encounter sharks and/or gators at some point if you are in the water. No sharks or gators on the N Train and that is all I care about.

NEW CBS MOVIE ELVIS...FOLLOWED IN A FEW WEEKS BY CBS MOVIE LOCUSTS.

I can hardly contain myself. CBS is "America's Most Watched Network" says Pete, with whom I am also now IMing with.

OH SNAP...Bad guy tried to blame good guy for the roofies and Lucio just used some sweet logic to entrap him in his own lie. AND, the bad guy is wearing black. We should have known. Good guy just got a few licks to the bean on bad guy.

Bruce just dropped this re the bad guy: "You got served"

Ok, so lets fast forward a little bit...believe me, you aren't missing anything...back to the beach. Yes I know you are wondering how the story got back here and so am I and I watched the damn thing.

The bad guy is still hanging around everyone EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW HE DRUGGED LUCIO!

This is the exchange Devin and I just had:
Cuse4527: was greaser just pounding beers?
Devin: yes
Cuse4527: why?
Devin: no reason

ALRIGHT...here come the sharks. They just ate a whole lot of unsuspecting people. They were probably sinners anway. Guess who gets eaten -- that's right, the bad guy. This is how it transpired:

Bad guy is hanging onto this pole (dont ask) with a girl, but he is just looking out for #1 and the girl and he fall into the water. The girl gets back to safety and the bad guy gets eaten. Poetic justice in my book.

So in the end let's tally it up:
-Lucio survives and is the only person that can save anyone.
-Lucio's brother, a PhD student at Florida Maritime Institute, has developed a tool that keeps sharks away from coastlines for his thesis. Luckily for those on spring break, it saved a number of people that were going to die.
-Unfortunately, dude on a floaty met the grim reaper.

I am going to end this post with a comment from Devin and a comment from Pete.

Pete (upon me describing what was occurring):
"oh, so its about everything that can feasibly scare middle-class white america about spring break."

Devin (describing what the creators were thinking):
"we'll make a movie...first hour, all about date rape and roofies....second hour, sharks...in between, hot girls in bikinis and greasers with open shirts"

Final note, this was written by someone who went to Cuse. Now he has Spring Break Shark Attack to add to his resume which includes Real World: The Lost Season.

I am SPENT.

Monday, March 07, 2005

A-Choooo...Random Musings...

- Guess who I rode the elevator with in my building today? Michael Cassidy aka Zack aka Summer's ex-bf from The OC. Seriously, I did. He had his agent and publicist or something to like that with him or else I def would have asked him his thoughts on the cultural importance of The OC on twenty-something males. Instead I was boggled by how much shorter he was in person than I thought he would be.

- What is the deal with these evolving smileys. What ever happpened to : ) or : * or ; ). I mean, the basic yellow smiley is ok I guess. But what's with the new age freaky ass smileys. They are waaaaaaaay too teethy and evil looking. I mean, they look like something out of a Friday the 13th. Seriously, ease up on the creepy as smileys.

- It was 50-something degrees today in NYC which now gives me hope for warm weather. I cannot wait for the extra hour of daylight, warmer weather, and awesome happy hours. Most importantly -- margaritas for happy hour.

-My favorite dudes on American Idol right now are Bo Bice, Anwar, and the dude that looks like Bubba Sparxx.

That is all. Happy birthday to Walsh. Big TWO-FIVE today.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The Oscars

Ok, here we go...

Chris Rock was by far the most entertaining part of the night and he was hamstringed for most of it, so that right there should tell you something about the night. You know he did a good job when Sean Penn, looking as though he just came out of a week long bender, retorted regarding the Jude Law shot.

I literally could care less about 2/3 of the awards given out.

How about the music? Beyonce is awesome but I was underwhelmed by the songs themselves. And, could Antonio Banderas possibly put more grease on himself? Was that him singing or Razor Ramon?

I was extremely happy Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx won Oscars. For Morgan, it is long overdue and for Jamie, I actually feel like it means more to him than almost anyone else. Plus I have been watching him since I was little, so it's nice to see him succeed.

I didn't see either The Aviator or Million Dollar Baby. So don't ask me about them.

The most beautiful person there: Natalie Portman. She looked like a goddess, both in dress and natural beauty.

In regards to Hillary Swank, I just don't know what to think about her. I mean, she comes from a trailer park which gives her some cred, she talks much more honestly than most people when interviewed, but something about her is just off. I don't know. I just don't get amped up when I hear Hillary Swank is in a movie and for a two time Oscar winner, I think that I should get that feeling.

Couldn't The Oscars just have had Alicia Keyes, Joss Stone, Kanye, and Green Day perform again?

Also, what the F was the deal with all the empty seats? I know the first level seats are empty at times for stars doing shit, but what the F is up with third tier seats being empty? I mean come on.

I'm going to say this right now, the post parties are CLEARLY the best part of the whole night. I stayed up til 2ish watching the party coverage. MUCH MUCH better. I mean, when Mo Free is about to sip on Cris with OSCAR IN HAND at the vanity fair party...how awesome is that? I mean, can we just watch that the whole night. Let him hang with Chris Rock and that would be entertaining. Can we have the contest of "Who can blow more coke than Robin Williams during Mork and Mindy?" Seriously, grab 16 stars, seeed them 1-16, and let them at it at the post vanity fair party at Prince's house.

Next year, I'm hoping for a Keira Knightley Oscar nomination, Dave Chappelle to host, a performance by Mariah Carey (coming off a Grammy Awards domination), and Johnny Depp to win an award and thank his time on 21 Jump Street for making him the actor he is today.

Also, I would like a full theatre.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Top 5 Most Overrated TV Shows of All-Time:

Here we go...

5. Sopranos: Yup, I said it. Is it a good show? Yes. Is it monumental? No. Nate has a theory that everyone loves it because they've seen something or been somewhere or knows where something is in an episode or the opening. He is obviously somewhat joking, but he is also somewhat right. This show hits the nerve of every dude in america who fantasizes about the mafia lifestyle. The only problem is that The Sopranos started out awesome and then tanked and everyone just kept making excuses. When you are on HBO, there is no excuse to have a bad season, especially when you are on your own timeframe for seasons.

4. M*A*S*H: The UBER-White show of all shows. The freaking theme song was the instrumental of "Suicide is Painless". I dunno, maybe I'm just too young, maybe I'm just flat out wrong, but I just can't deal with this show.

3. CSI: Monte Carlo/Anchorage/The Northwest Territory: I have seen one episode of CSI and I am making an uninformed, snap judgment and I don't care.

2. Sex and the City (on TBS): OH MY GOD SATC IS GOING TO BE ON TBS!!!! Big whoop dee damn doo. Without the "R" part of SATC the show just sucks...Oh wait a second...

1. Sex and the City (on HBO): Yeah, you read that right. If you think Sex and the City is revolutionary you better do some fact checking QUICK. Again, much like Sopranos, it is a good show, but nothing monumental especially considering it is on HBO. I don't know if people really comprehend the freedom with which HBO shows get to incorporate varied story lines. I mean, comparing something on HBO and ABC would be like comparing two basketball players, but one had to play in flip flops while the other one got to wear sneakers. I mean, it's not even close.

You want meaningful, empowering female storylines? Go watch Murphy Brown. They had a storyline which got a reaction from the Vice President of the United States. Not only did it get a reaction, it then retorted to that reaction. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you should read about this show. Murphy Brown was a powerful female doing well in a traditionally male-dominated work environment. She is a single mother (see Dan Quayle shooting his mouth off), retorts in an episode mocking the VP, is competing with a co-worker that is there because of her looks, and is a middle-aged, average looking (for tv) woman. So let's recap Murphy Brown real quick: Empowered women sexually, professionally, and culturally and did it while playing in flip flops.

Now, again, I'm not saying SATC was bad, it was good, but it was not monumental. The situation and characters were too fantastic (and not the fantastic as in 'really good'). Do you think it's a coincidence that no one gives Murphy Brown more pub for empowering women in our society through a tv show than SATC? Think about it, SATC has the following: 3/4 very good looking stars, all have ridic jobs, do fun drugs, drink, sex...and the show has all of this with the freedom of HBO. Kind of sounds shallow doesn't it? Now, think about Murphy Brown and really think how incredible SATC was...

Now, I'm sure I may have touched a nerve with the sopranos and sex and the city, but whatev...let me know what you think. And if you attempt to say that Perfect Strangers was overrated, I will hunt you down and find you. I loved "The Dance of Joy".

Why I can't turn off Serendipity...

Have you ever seen the movie Serendipity? If you haven't, you aren't really missing anything. Pretty quickly I'll give you an overview:

Jon Cusack and Kate Beckinsale randomly meet each other, both have significant others, she believes in fate, they write their info in obscure items, and those obscure items eventually fall into each other's hands in the future...If it sounds confusing, don't worry, it's not. It's just far-fetched.

BUT, for some reason, I cannot turn it off if I catch it on. I mean, I've seen it already, there is no reason to watch it again...WITH commercials.

However, it has some things going for it that appeal to me.
1. Beckinsale. Good lord, she is a beautiful woman and that accent is like heaven.
2. It's a cheesy romantic comedy...right up my alley. And no, that is not a joke.
3. Piven is in it. Always a plus.
4. I'm a pretty big Cusack fan. High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies.
5. Not a bad soundtrack. "Moonlight Kiss" by Bap Kennedy is kind of catchy and sounds like it should be on The OC.

Now, this is coming from the guy that owns Legally Blond and Save the Last Dance. So, I guess it shouldn't be that crazy that I can't turn off Serendipity.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Addendum to Grammy's (Re-addendumized)

Quick edit to this as per the comment...

Melissa Etheridge has been battling cancer, so even bigger kudos to her for her performance. It was amazing.

Quick thing...

I found out that Melissa Ethridge did the ball head thing for breast cancer victims so kudos to her...

That is making a splash for a cause that is for sure.

I'm going to have Valentine's Day post coming up soon...stick with me.

"Latro"

Monday, February 14, 2005

My Take on the Grammys

Here we go...I have no structure for this, I'm going to keep it pretty simple.

First, let's start with the bad stuff: Anything with John Mayer or Maroon 5. Done and done. I don't care how much you like them or how much you think their songs relate to something important in your life, but compared to the other artists, they should not be on the same stage. Hey, I'm glad the dude from Maroon 5 is in a band with all his best friends, get off the stage.

People that I was happy for that won: Kanye, Green Day, and Alicia Keyes. I'll get to Alicia a little later. I was really happy for Kanye and Green Day. Big pop for both Kanye and Green Day's performances as well.

The performances:
Opening Act - good idea, not incredible, thought Franz Ferdinand stole the show

Alicia Keyes - Perfection

Jamie Foxx - What the mother crap is that tatoo on your head? Seriously, I'm sure it means something, but what?

Tribute to Southern Rock - Could have been better, great idea though. I love Gretchen Wilson.

U2 - Thought it was lackluster compared to some of their other performances

Gospel Tribute - Surprisingly awesome considering I'm not very religious

Green Day - Very good

Janis Joplin Tribute - Loved it and Joss Stone's performance was second only to Alicia Keyes

Queen Latifah - Eh

Tsunami Tribute - Eh

Usher and James Brown - Too short. James Brown's pants were up to his nipples. It was really good, but something about it, something was missing

Tim McGraw - I'm not really a Tim McGraw fan, not a bad song though

I'm sure I've forgotten some, but that is about it.

Shooting up on my fav list: Joss Stone, again, just awesome.

Best part of the night: Anything with Alicia Keyes. I mean, how can you NOT love Alicia Keyes. She is the epitome of beauty and talent. She is classically beautiful, an absolutely awe-inspiring performer, and you cannot forget any performance that you see of hers.

Prediction for next year: The Mariah Carey comeback tour. I'm serious. Mariah was THE female performer at her pinnacle. Her voice was surreal with its power. Americans give anyone a second chance and it's not like she killed anybody. She got a little stressed, had a few bad breaks, and then had a meltdown on TRL. She can definitely bounce back. I refuse to think she is gone forever.

Melissa Ethridge's Bald Head: Whatever. Joss Stone was on the stage.

Queen Latifah as Host: Really good. I thought she had a great stage demeanor and incorporated her own style into the show very nicely.

Ray Charles Stuff: As much as this pains me, I was underwhelmed with the Ray Charles stuff. Incredible performer and the stuff with Norah Jones is always a plus. But, I'm starting to feel like his death, coupled with the movie, is being commercialized a little bit. With that said, I do hope Jamie Foxx wins an Oscar.

J. Lo: How is Mariah Carey in the dumps and J Lo is performing at the Grammys? Seriously? Anybody?

People who won that I was really happy for that you might not know won: Jon Stewart (Best Comedy Album) and Bill Clinton (Best Spoken Word Album).

Anyway, that's about it. Just remember, Alicia Keyes and Joss Stone came out the big winners in my book. Followed by Gretchen Wilson, Green Day, and Kanye.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

TV Series with AWFUL finales

Yeah, I'm going there, I'm sick of it. Here are some off the top of my head.

Seinfeld: Hey, we're going to bring back every single character that we used in the past and thus create a series finale where we go against everything we stand for as a show. I mean come on, I'm not even a huge Seinfeld fan, but sweet jesus, they sold out for the series finale. There was so much secrecy for the finale and then they put out a bust. Just a totally disappointing finale for a show that was supposed to be THE show of the 90s.

Dawson's Creek: I will give Dawson's Creek credit, they moved into college life from high school life much better than 90210 did. In the end however, they had Jen die, not that anyone really cared because her character was so erratic, but that wasn't my main gripe. My main gripe is that Joey picked PACEY over Dawson. Now, during the final episode, everyone is coming back for Dawson's mother's wedding and Joey is dating some dude named Christopher. Pacey is hooking up with a married woman and then gets his ass beat down. Dawson however is a big time TV dude with his own show. So here is the last show: Jen dies, Joey inexplicably picks Pacey over Dawson (like that would happen) and Dawson gets to meet Spielberg (it is inferred that he is going to). Now, not only is Joey picking Pacey over Dawson ridic, it's ridic that she would pick either. No way she ends up with either of those two, let alone Dawson. And, it's not like people are really rooting for her to pick either, because no one really cared, they let the triangle go for too long.

90210: OK, could they possibly have had Brenda and Brandon appear. I know Brandon appeard via tape, but come on Jason Priestley, get your too-cool-for-school ass back on the show. I mean, getting Shannon Doherty back would have been gigantic. So much potential, Dylan going back to Brenda, Brandon and Kelly maybe getting back together...but no, what is the big, huge, end all be all culmination to the show - DAVID AND DONNA'S WEDDING. Good god, nepotism at its WORST. Did anyone really care about those two. Really? Anybody? Exactly.

And now, the worst of all...

The Wonder Years: Here is a show where the main girl and guy SHOULD have ended up together. Go back and watch this show anytime, it is awesome. And, even though it takes place during the 60s, it seems timeless. The characters were awesome from top to bottom. Outside of Fred Savage maturing a little more quickly physically, this show was practically perfect. The music was awesome, the storylines incredible, and you actually cared when bad things happened. Now, all I want as an avid fan of the show is for Kevin and Winnie to get together. That is it. That is all the repayment I want. Unlike Dawson's Creek, it is ok for them to do it in this show because of 1) The time frame and 2) The show was so good it could have a stretch of an ending. So, how does it end? In the final narration Kevin states how after Winnie had gone abroad for a few years and comes back that he went to the airport to pick her up...WITH HIS FAMILY. Are you kidding me? Could you just give this to me. If Winnie Cooper and Kevin Arnold can't make it, then how the hell is anyone else supposed to make it. Just a terrible ending to an incredible show.

If you can think of others, throw up a comment.

Check out Clevercitizen.com

I don't usually do this, but this is my friend Josh's site. It's got a crapload of cool shit on it. And, if you really want to know where I come friend, check out the "rumors" section and scroll down to Johnson City, you will find priceless stuff.

Quick tidbit about Josh...He, my friend Brad and I used to play street hockey like 10,000 times a week when we were growing up. We all lived next to the infamous "Virginia Ave Park" where every single Johnson City girl played softball.

Because of my proximity to this park, I learned every chant those girls sang...

My god, "We want a single, just a little single,S-I-N, G-L-E, single single single."

Yup.

Anywho, check out his site, it's got cool shit on it.

Click Me => Clevercitizen

Quick Notes regarding my blog...

Some things real quick...

I know that the sidebar is messed up if you are viewing this blog using Internet Explorer, I'm trying to fix that. The problem is that I'm using Mozilla Firefox and since it is much better than IE, it doesn't F up like IE does. So, while I'm trying to fix the sidebar, you should definitely download and use Mozilla Firefox. It is a million times better than IE and you will NOT have pop ups.

Also, let me know how it looks if you are using Safari.

Go here and get Mozilla: http://www.mozilla.org

I swear to you, you will never use IE again.

Also, I saw the iPod ad in the "comments" section under my interview with Gab, I'm sending Google (this blog site is done by Google) an e-mail seeing what the deal is with that.

Finally, I think I'm going to put a counter on my blog to see how many of y'all folks are checking this site out.

And send me an IM at Cuse4527 or an email at Michael.Moscardini@gmail.com if you have any recommendations for the blog or want me to write about anything. I'm all ears.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Ma Belle Ami Gabrielle

What can I say...Gabrielle is a feisty, mischievous coquette who enjoys stylish nights out where the term "last call" does not apply. She is an upstate NY enchantress with a razor's edge wit and an equally stunning visage. Her demeanor is one of cool confidence with a slight veil of mystery and intrigue. One look and you will know why this femme fatale can steal the show at the drop of a hat...

Cuse4527
: 1. Name/S&M-Dominatrix Name
Cleo454
: Gabrielle Tischler Kellner/Chiquita Banana


Cuse4527
: 2. How do you know me?
Cleo454
: You were introduced to me 2 years ago by Nick Mead under the DJ booth window at Maggies

Cuse4527
: 3. What is your opinion of Ugz?
Cleo454
: Besides if I buy them shoot me?
Cleo454
: They are slippers moonlighting as boots and as long as the wealthy female population at Syracuse doesn't find some other stupid foot trend to obsess over they will continue to be ubiquitous in Syracuse
Cleo454
: They are a powerful force. Even the rubber Burberry knock-off rain boots didn't push them off their pedestal

Cuse4527
: 4. Are you fabulous and if so, why?
Cleo454
: Yeah, but I prefer magnificent, or sophisticated, fabulous is old, fabulous is the new "cool"
Cleo454
: and why?
Cleo454
: Yikes, I might have to come back to this one. Complimenting my self is counter intuitive

Cuse4527: 5. What's the quickest thing a guy can do to turn you off when trying to hit on you?
Cleo454
: Have expectations
Cleo454
: I can't stand when a man comes at me with a list of what he wants reflected in the drool in the corner of his mouth
Cleo454
: if you come with expectations, count on not having them met, I’m a hard sell

Cuse4527
: 6. What would your ideal vacation entail?
Cleo454
: well let me say first that Uuuuudo stole Ibiza away from me and now I have to come up with something else. As payment I demand to go on that vacation, should it ever happen
Cleo454
: My ideal vacation......
Cleo454: Brazilian Caribbean for seven days, the Presidente Hotel, five star restaurants, room service, and sex three times a day (preferably with the same man)
Cleo454
: and then seven days in Miami sweating to Cuban music and drinking tequila
Cuse4527: wow, that is an awesome answer
Cleo454
: hahahaha see, my fabulousness just pours out, it's indescribable, you must experience it to see it

Cuse4527: 7. How bad is the double standard, "Stud v. Slut", for guys and girl?
Cleo454
: Real bad Mikey, real bad.
Cleo454: You know it's bad because men usually don't see it and they'll fight you on it
Cleo454: they'll disagree that there isn't a double standard, but men get high fived when they get laid, and we get "Oh honey, you better get yourself checked out, ok?"
Cleo454: And I think if it has to exist, it should be reversed, I mean, women put up with the pick up lines, the bad dress shirts, the drunk sweat, and if you convince us to sleep with you, we end up doing most of the work
Cleo454
: I think we're the heroes here

Cuse4527
: 8. Can girls and guys be platonic friends?
Cleo454
: I think it's case by case
Cleo454
: men and women have different ideas about what friendship is too, so if you don't agree on that it's hard to know if you have a friendship in the first place

Cuse4527
: 9. What is 2nd Base?
Cleo454
: Well after your survey on the subject failed miserably and my definition won hands down, I can say with confidence that it is everything your hands can touch
Cleo454
: boobs, butts, and mmmhhhhmmmm

Cuse4527
: 10. One Night Stands: Appealing or Appalling?
Cleo454
: For me, appalling, there is not a guy on earth who's getting past the 3 hour make out quota in one night. And if you never get past the first night, you never really have mind blowing sex, do you? You have awkward first time sex, or drunken "animal" sex and if you were sober "animal" would = messy
Cleo454
: I can see why it appeals to people who need affirmation, and people who like to have a good story
Cleo454
: and I gotta agree with Udo, my body is for pros only

Cuse4527
: 11. Would you ever dance on a bar?
Cleo454
: After that girl at Tin Lizzie's took a nose dive into the floor I'm more hesitant
Cleo454
: But I actually already have. If you bartend at Maggie's you're obligated to poor shots into everyone's mouth from the bar
Cleo454
: I'm sure we did some shaking of some kind when we were up there

Cuse4527
: 12. What would be your perfect outfit for a night out?
Cleo454
: huuuuuuuuuuuuoooooo
Cleo454: the question of my dreeeaaams
Cleo454
: well where am I going?
Cleo454: what's the occasion?
Cuse4527: how about a club, night out in nyc?
Cleo454
: am I drinking? dancing? ask Udo, these are important considerations
Cuse4527: haha
Cuse4527
: both
Cleo454
: ok
Cleo454
: a bright coral, silk viscose, body hugging, backless halter, mini dress with a neckline down to my belly button, the light light the green satin Gucci cage stilettos, a Fendi clutch, and canary diamonds pouring down my neck and out my ears
Cleo454
: oh and take me to Fekkai to get my hair done!

Cuse4527
: 13. What is the best thing about being a girl?
Cleo454
: the best thing....
Cleo454
: I can successfully match my emotions with the corresponding word in the dictionary, and will live a happier more open life because of it
Cleo454
: men think every feeling they have is anger
Cleo454
: "your dog just died, how do you feel" "angry"
Cleo454: "You mean sad, confused, weighted down, helpless?"
Cleo454: "Yeah Angry"
Cleo454
: whatever, it's a boring answer, but that girl Adrianne took mine
Cleo454
: and I want that noted

Cuse4527
: 14. What is your fav memory that involves me and you?
Cleo454
: awwwww my fav? There’s so many
Cuse4527
: or just choose one of your favs
Cleo454
: k
Cleo454: One Wednesday night we were bored and I had the genius idea to do power hour with hard liquor and it's still the only time I've ever puked from drinking. I think we laughed for 45 minutes straight
Cleo454
: I know at least I didn't finish the hour

Cuse4527: 15. How was our summer of the futon?
Cleo454
: I spent every Tuesday of the summer after my sophomore year on your futon and not once did I wake up with you standing over me breathing hard. Those were good times

Cuse4527
: 16. What is the best bar at Syracuse and why?
Cleo454
: Ok ok ok, the best bar at Syracuse is Maggie's Tavern
Cleo454
: and here's why, though this is not so much a credit to the bar as to it's drinkers
Cleo454
: it's the bar I have the most good memories from
Cleo454: it's the only bar that plays crazy and friends in low places in one night
Cleo454
: it's the only bar you can get to stay open all day for a fraternity keg party that serves one kind of beer but names itself after the German beer fest boasting thousands of brews
Cleo454
: and I met my best friends at that bar, anne, amy, you, and nick
Cleo454: so I guess it's Maggie's hands down (if nick reads this and I get a call about how he knew I would eat my words I'm telling him you made it up)

Cuse4527: 17. What is the best part about being from upstate NY?
Cleo454
: You get to school JC in Lacrosse Every spring and make the big girls cry :-D
Cleo454
: and it's homey. Section 4 baby

Cuse4527
: 18. Does "size" really matter?
Cleo454
: I'd say, no, as long as we're not talking micro dick, but then yes, there are support groups for that and it's sad, but you should really buy yourself a strap on
Cleo454
: That said, there IS such a thing as too big. It's a scary experience and rare but it puts a whole new spin on the word average


Cuse4527
: 19. Body Shots: Yes or No? and why?
Cleo454
: Yes please, if you have an above average body. They're harmless, and goofy, it's a good story, everyone laughs and oooohs at you. But below average it's risky, nobody wants to see that having whipped cream licked off it.


Cuse4527
: 20. How would you describe me?
Cuse4527
: (you can be as vicious as you want)
Cleo454
: hahah yeah I'm vicious
Cleo454: You're a wise ass, extremely loyal, very talented and quick witted
Cleo454
: You have terrible taste in television programming and spend too much time in front of the mind-sucking devise
Cleo454
: Your spin the bottle idea is brilliant in theory and in practice I think you'd better get a lawyer before you attempt it
Cleo454
: I'm convinced you'll end up with a huge family in Connecticut and a lovely wife and you'll wear polo shirts and play tennis or something
Cleo454
: you'll probably invent something that will make tons of money
Cleo454: like post-its, like in Romy and Michelle's high school reunion
Cleo454
: you're one of the most fair, opened minded men I've ever met, and very forgiving
Cleo454
: And you're fun, always easy to motivate
Cleo454: and you have three black shirts to wear to the bar
Cleo454
: and that's it