Tuesday, February 08, 2005

TV Series with AWFUL finales

Yeah, I'm going there, I'm sick of it. Here are some off the top of my head.

Seinfeld: Hey, we're going to bring back every single character that we used in the past and thus create a series finale where we go against everything we stand for as a show. I mean come on, I'm not even a huge Seinfeld fan, but sweet jesus, they sold out for the series finale. There was so much secrecy for the finale and then they put out a bust. Just a totally disappointing finale for a show that was supposed to be THE show of the 90s.

Dawson's Creek: I will give Dawson's Creek credit, they moved into college life from high school life much better than 90210 did. In the end however, they had Jen die, not that anyone really cared because her character was so erratic, but that wasn't my main gripe. My main gripe is that Joey picked PACEY over Dawson. Now, during the final episode, everyone is coming back for Dawson's mother's wedding and Joey is dating some dude named Christopher. Pacey is hooking up with a married woman and then gets his ass beat down. Dawson however is a big time TV dude with his own show. So here is the last show: Jen dies, Joey inexplicably picks Pacey over Dawson (like that would happen) and Dawson gets to meet Spielberg (it is inferred that he is going to). Now, not only is Joey picking Pacey over Dawson ridic, it's ridic that she would pick either. No way she ends up with either of those two, let alone Dawson. And, it's not like people are really rooting for her to pick either, because no one really cared, they let the triangle go for too long.

90210: OK, could they possibly have had Brenda and Brandon appear. I know Brandon appeard via tape, but come on Jason Priestley, get your too-cool-for-school ass back on the show. I mean, getting Shannon Doherty back would have been gigantic. So much potential, Dylan going back to Brenda, Brandon and Kelly maybe getting back together...but no, what is the big, huge, end all be all culmination to the show - DAVID AND DONNA'S WEDDING. Good god, nepotism at its WORST. Did anyone really care about those two. Really? Anybody? Exactly.

And now, the worst of all...

The Wonder Years: Here is a show where the main girl and guy SHOULD have ended up together. Go back and watch this show anytime, it is awesome. And, even though it takes place during the 60s, it seems timeless. The characters were awesome from top to bottom. Outside of Fred Savage maturing a little more quickly physically, this show was practically perfect. The music was awesome, the storylines incredible, and you actually cared when bad things happened. Now, all I want as an avid fan of the show is for Kevin and Winnie to get together. That is it. That is all the repayment I want. Unlike Dawson's Creek, it is ok for them to do it in this show because of 1) The time frame and 2) The show was so good it could have a stretch of an ending. So, how does it end? In the final narration Kevin states how after Winnie had gone abroad for a few years and comes back that he went to the airport to pick her up...WITH HIS FAMILY. Are you kidding me? Could you just give this to me. If Winnie Cooper and Kevin Arnold can't make it, then how the hell is anyone else supposed to make it. Just a terrible ending to an incredible show.

If you can think of others, throw up a comment.


JoshO said...

Being an astoundingly upbeat person, the tone and the downright degradation of certain series finales left me with a festering and gaping wound in my heart and my soul. And so, I would like to "drop science" on you about my favorite series finale. One that was tops. One that makes me weep like Tammy Faye Bakker after she found out Reverend Jimmy was plowing Jessica Hahn.

I speak, of course, of M*A*S*H.

You want cheese?
You want drama?
You want Hawkeye?
You want hilarity?
You want more rhetorical questions?
The answer is:


This two hour eppy had everything. It had the fun-loving 4077 gang reliving their favorite moments, inviting the viewers in to share with these moments ...ones that you felt like you were apart of (but you weren't. You don't even know the first thing about sutures or "retraction"). It had high drama, as the entire unit is forced to "bug out" and move its tents for fear of getting bombed. It had Hawkeye Pierce losing his mind temporarily, no doubt from drinking gin that he made from a still in his own tent. You got to witness the strange (ie. almost sexual) relationship between his doctor, Major Sidney Freedman. It also had the ultimate Shakespearean tragedy, as Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy loses his hearing from a mortar attack right before he leaves for home. If there was ever a better editorial about the Catholic church, I haven't seen it. And I've been looking.

All in all, it was the perfect series finale. It wrapped everything up neatly, but still left a lot of questions of unanswered, like:

-Was Margaret "Hotlips" Houlihan really a man?
-Who would have won in a no-holds-barred ECW-style brawl between BJ Hunicutt and Trapper John? Who would Bill Alphonso accompany to the ring, blowing his whistle the entire way?
-What the fuck was wrong with Radar?

Anyway, that's it for me. It's time to go watch MacGyver.

DevsCuse44 said...

Loved this nostalgic return to series finales, but you should have explored both the best and the worst ones. Let me do the dirty work for you:

1) Family Ties: Alex leaves for Wallstreet and the family argues over what to do with his room. Hilarity ensues as he argues to have the room roped off, never to be used again, while his Mom wants to make it into a sewing room, I dunno. Can’t remember if it was the best finale ever, but I can tell you this, it was the BEST show ever. I so looked up to Alex P. Keaton that I actually wore a shirt and tie everyday to school from Kindgergarden until 2nd grade. I think that I caused my parents so much emotional trauma, that they hoped I would someday grow up and become a lumberjack. And in case you’re wondering, both Alex P. Keaton’s and MY first words as a baby was “money.” Sad but true.
2) Cheers: Had me in tears. Still a little bitter though that I had to endure 27 years of having its spinoff “Fraser” listed as “Must-see-TV” in the NBC lineup.
3) Golden Girls: Dorothy gets her man. YEAH I watched the “Golden Girl.” You would too if your parents left you every Saturday night with some live-in Au Pair from (insert Eastern European country here), while they went off and did coke or whatever. By the way, I also watched “Empty Nest”…don’t judge me.
4) Wings: “Sandpiper Airlines is reopen for business!!!” Will go down in history with “Newsradio” as the shows you watch before-and-after “the Price is Right” on a sick day.

1) Full House: Michelle gets amnesia?? Are you kidding me….that’s the best you can do? Too bad for Mary Kate, that amnesia seems to have stretched into her teens…bitch keeps forgetting to eat. While your at it, why don’t you just give DJ Bulimia? If you ask me, “Perfect Strangers” was the gem of the TGIF lineup
2) Friends: Not that I actually watched the final. I HATED this show, especially after my roommates (who were in love with the show) unsuccessfully tried throwing a “Friends” theme party. I guess the “surprise finale was that Ross and Rachel Finaaaally get together. Lame, well guess what Rachel, I’ve got a surprise in my pants.
3) The Cosby Show: Top-3 favorite show for me, but I had to stop watching after that terd, Olivia, moved in. We get it Bill, “kids say the darndest things.” Should have brought back Cockroach, or Vanessa’s afro for a special guest appearance
4) Seinfeld: Just awful. I can urinate words in the snow with more cohesiveness

p.s. In the finale of "MacGyver" we found out that his real name is "Angus"....sweet.